Have You Been Outside?

Psalm 34:17-18

Time spent on caring for yourself is never lost. It’s multiplied.  

I was desperate. Every single day for at least 10 minutes, I got dressed, walked through my front door, and let the sun or rain or freezing air touch my face.  

Not for exercise. This was for survival.   

My friend, this changed my life. It SAVED my life.   

When I ask if you got outside yesterday, I don’t do it for fun. I don’t do it for judgment. I don’t type out a poll sticker in my stories for kicks and giggles.   

I do it because I care for your soul and I want all to be well with you.   

So…. Did you get outside yesterday? And if not, will you please go today?   

I promise your time will be redeemed. You won’t “lose” the few minutes you thought you didn’t have.

She told me to go outside.   

After I poured my heart out to my therapist, she gave me homework.   

She said to journal every day and answer the question: what are three things you are grateful for? And to write down 5 good things that happened, big or small.   

But one piece of homework that seemed strange at the time was this:   

“God, please help me.”  

That help came in the form of therapy.   

When I hit rock bottom, I had no lengthy prayers to whisper to my God. There was only one sentence I could muster. But I prayed that prayer with all of my might.   

Some people get walking pneumonia. I had walking depression.   

A couple of years ago during times of high stress, low connection with people and a lot of loneliness, I became very depressed.   

The way I was able to laugh and smile, work long hours, and be highly productive was a remarkable contrast to what was actually happening in my soul. No one would have guessed it.   

I was successfully building a business and pouring myself out for others to catch some joy, all while I had a deficit for myself. A sturdy looking cistern that seemed to have an abundance of clean water was dark and bone dry inside.   

Suicidal ideation was beginning to unfold.